Kids are told that asking for help is okay, that even when we admit defeat that we can still go on.

But sometimes those who ask for help are judged anyway. We still believe that out of all the people who ask for help there will always be someone who takes advantage of assistance — there will always be a boy who cries ‘wolf.’

Imagine this: a happy family portrait — mom, dad, two kids and probably a dog somewhere in there. But the glass is dusty and the frame is old. It’s no longer hanging, but simply sitting on the hallway bookshelf to be seen by the family that now consist of three: Mommy and her two children. The dog went missing years ago, and Dad is gone without leaving a dime. He could be dead, and the people he once stood next to don’t even know it.

Mom might be the prettiest, the smartest and maybe even has impeccable professional potential, but her life now is for her kids, and they need food, money and education. That’s more important to her than getting her dream career. So she works crappy jobs for crappy pay, sometimes in unsafe environments. Now imagine her on normal day at work alone — suddenly a blow to the head by a stranger — glass is everywhere, her vision is blurred and the man moved too fast for her to keep up.

This was not in her job description.

The next thing she sees are white walls, a faint beeping in her ear. Her youngest daughter’s eyes wet with tears while whispering, “Mommy, please wake up.”

Her first thoughts are: the rent is due, the car was stolen, the gas bill is already late, and now on top of all this, she cannot even comprehend how much a hospital bill would be. She isn’t even worried about herself, but her children and how to provide for them. How could she give them a proper Christmas when the money she saved up was in the glovebox in the car that was stolen? She tries to get up, but her body is too weak. Then she looks around at herself. Bruises everywhere, her thighs and arms are covered in shades of black and blue. She sobs.

There is no preparation course for this. Nobody ever plans on being left behind or beaten down while working hard to barely skate by. Some people need help.

And that is why I am here to tell you “Housing Assistance” and “Food Stamps” aren’t just for the weak and uneducated.

They are for the single moms and dads who don’t have the money to provide for their families, the ones who got hurt and can no longer work due to a disability, or the people who are simply so lost in their own lives that they cannot keep up. They aren’t here to tie your shoes or make your bed; these programs exist to help you learn how to tie your shoes and to prepare for the process of making your bed so that down the road you will know how without them, figuratively speaking.

Why is it that our society makes people feel like they’re selling their soul when they’re simply asking for help? The people who take advantage will always exist, there is no stopping them. But instead of hating each individual in the room, try taking a closer look, opening up your ears and listening to what they have to say. Trying to judge all the colors of the rainbow at once makes an ugly mess — you need to look at each individual section of the rainbow to really grasp the color and what it consists of.

Not everyone takes advantage. I am the proud daughter of a woman who works hard and still finds time to love her kids, the humble big sister of a little girl who gives the money in her piggy bank and her favorite toy to homeless people. I am also the girl who comes from these programs, they are here to help my family, and sure it’s embarrassing– but why? People need help sometimes, and it’s OK to ask. Stop the judgement.